It's been 5 weeks already...

Everyday, I think about blogging but then I don't. Right now, I am sitting at the computer staring down at my beautiful babies. They are trying to sleep. Jocey has her arm entwined in Adey's. It is so adorable. I can't believe that it has already been 5 weeks. Time just flies. The past 5 weeks has been a whirlwind. A lot has happened...

I had the girls home for 3 days before Jocey had to be readmitted to the hospital. She wasn't eating and she had lost over a pound since her birth. It was so scary. What was worse was they would not let me bring Adey there because of the whole H1N1 policy. It was horrible. How do you choose between which baby to spend time with? I was breastfeeding so it didn't leave me much choice but to stay home with Adey while Josh spent all of his time at the hospital. I was so depressed not having both of my babies with me. What made it worse was Josh was going to be returning to work and then neither of us would be with Jocey. Thankfully, the doctor felt that this was ridiculous and she called the higher powers. They gave me permission to bring Adey to the hospital. Jocey had a private room so we bunked out on the couch for a week. One day she just started eating again and quickly gained weight. We were able to bring her home after 6 days. I have never felt like that before. My daughter was perfectly healthy from the time she was born until now (9 years later). I never want to have a sick child again.

After that scare, I have loved everyday I get to spend with all of my children. They are growing so fast. They both are a little over 6 pounds now. They both have had their first real smiles. I just look into their pretty eyes and feel this overwhelming love. Everyday that my older daughter comes home from school, I look at her and want to cry. I think I am a little emotional still! I just love my family so much.

The babies are SO good. I couldn't have asked for better. We are on a 3 hour eating schedule. They both wake up after 3 hours, get their diapers changed, eat and at night fall right back to sleep. During the day, they can stay up for the whole 3 hours playing and staring at each other! Neither baby is overly cranky. I am lucky!

I feel so complete.

Welcome Home Jocelyn Mae and Adelyn Ruth

Just a short update to let everyone know that we had our beautiful twin girls on November 10th, 2009. I was 35 weeks, 5 days pregnant! Jocelyn Mae was 5 lbs, 9 ozs, 18.5 inches long and her sister, Adelyn Ruth was 4 lbs, 11 ozs, 17.6 inches tall. They are little peanuts but are perfect and healthy. We all went home yesterday (after 3 days in the hospital) and are getting all settled in. I will post more later when I get a little time!

35 weeks, 2 days

I can say that this week has been the worst week that I have had in a long time. I got my H1N1 shot on Monday. Tuesday, I started to have a bit of a headache but it was manageable. By Tuesday night, I thought that I was going to die. My throat was killing me, I had the most congested nose ever, my head hurt, my whole body hurt. I was thinking, "well, maybe I am just getting a reaction from the shot." Wednesday was way worse as I started not being able to breathe from all the mucus in my throat. On Thursday, I couldn't even talk and had to go straight to the hospital. They did a strep test, that was negative. They did a chest x-ray, that was normal. They didn't think that I had H1N1 because I didn't have a fever. The babies looked great on the monitors so they sent me home. Of course, that night, I got a fever and the chills but I didn't want to go back to the hospital and it quickly went down after taking tylenol. Friday was still horrible. Today, I am feeling a little bit better. I can actually breathe and when I swallow, it doesn't feel like a million needles going down my throat. I feel for anyone that has to be sick while pregnant. I am so huge now, that it hurts just to turn over. I toss and turn all night. I just want to get up to 37 weeks and then I want these babies to make their appearance! That is only 12 days away! We can make it.

34 weeks, 4 days

It hasn't been a very exciting week which is fine with me. Halloween went well. We went to my mom's house for trick or treating and to have Devanne's birthday party with the family. She got totally spoiled as usual. She is out playing with her new rollerblades right now, actually. I stayed home while Josh and most of my family took DJ trick or treating. I wish that I could have walked around with them but I just kept thinking next year, I am going to be carting around 3 kids; 2 11 month olds! That is going to be so fun!

Today was another doctor's appointment for me. Everything seems to be going good except that my blood pressure is starting to creep up there. I haven't been feeling that great either, headaches, etc. My doctor didn't seem very worried yet. My cervix was still the same, 2 cm, 50% effaced. That is not budging! The doctor did get worried when he listened to the girls' heartbeats. He thought they were too fast but I knew it was because they were moving around. Needless to say, we got an NST today instead of tomorrow and they both passed with flying colors. We are going to keep an eye on my blood pressure but for the most part, it looks like I will not be going into premature labor. My 36 weeks starts next Thursday, 9 days away! I am so excited! I get to stop taking the medication and get to be up and about. My husband swears as soon as I am off the nephpine, I will go into labor. We will see.

I can't believe that I am going to be a mommy of three soon!

33 weeks, 6 days

Yes, I am still pregnant. I can't really believe it myself. The doctor, my family and I all thought that I would have delivered by now but I am still trucking along. My cervix has stayed at 2-3 cm dilated and I still have about 1.9 cm of length yet. Now we are talking full-term babies. I am happy with that. I am still taking nephaphene every four hours and I am on bedrest even though, I have to admit I haven't done such a great job with staying off of my feet all the time. It is getting harder though, to even stand up. I am so big and the girls are pushing 4.5-5 lbs each. I have 10 lbs of pure baby inside of me. I am tired all the time because I am a complete insomniac. I can not sleep at night! I hate it. First, they told me it was because of the steroid shots that I received to mature the babies' lungs but that was 3 weeks ago and I still can't sleep at night. It is so uncomfortable and I have to pee at least once an hour. I am so ready to have these babies but I know that a few more weeks will definitely make a great difference. I would like the babies not to have spent anytime in the NICU so that is my number 1 goal for now. We are all ready for them to come whenever they do come. The nursery is finished and the carseats are all installed and checked over. I love walking into the nursery and knowing that I am going to have my beautiful girls in there in such a short amount of time. I can't wait to hold them and see their faces. I just keep wondering what they are going to look like? Are they going to have hair? Are they going to be colickly babies or are they going to be calm like their older sister was? My husband and I talk all the time about the excitement of having these girls. I know that it is going to be hard and I know that I am going to be tired but it is going to be so worth it.

My daughter turned 9 yesterday! I can't believe how fast time has flown. She is all into the skinny jeans and other fashions that seem way too old for her. She keeps asking me for a cell phone. She says that ALL the kids in her class have a phone. I just laugh at this knowing this is probably exactly what I said to my mom. I told her no way, no how is she going to have a cell phone until she is at least 12 or 13. How ridculous for a child to have a cell phone when they shouldn't be anywhere without their parents anyway. She is just growing up way too fast. I know this is going to happen to the twins also. It makes me so sad!

Anyways, just wanted to give a short update. I am happy that most of the moms on the blogs that I follow have had their babies already! Everyone seems happy and healthy. It makes me feel better for our future.

31 weeks, 1 day

So to continue, I was feeling great. My doctor had me come in once a week for a check with her but I was also coming in once a week for a non-stress test. The test was mostly for Jocelyn since she didn't like to cooperate very well with the nurse. The next non-stress test took an hour and a half because Jocelyn didn't react or breathe until the last second. I knew that she was ok and so did the nurse but she wanted me to go see the periontologist anyways. I had not seen a peri the whole pregnancy so I was kind of excited. They were going to do a full ultrasound, non-stree test and consult with me. When I went in for the ultrasound, the tech automatically knew why Jocelyn seemed to be acting up, her placenta was hooked to the top of my stomach! The doctor had to have known that. The tech said that when someone put a doppler on her to listen to her heart, it would be hard to detect because of the placenta and I wouldn't be able to feel her as often as her sister either. I was so happy. They are so big! Jocelyn is 3.9 lbs and Adelyn is 3.11 lbs. They both look fantastic and passed the ultrasound test with flying colors. Also, Jocelyn was still breech but Adelyn had moved head down. One other very important thing to add here is my cervix was seen in the ultrasound. It was measured at 3.91 cm and was closed on the inside! I was thinking wow! that is great news!

Next was the non-stress test. Both babies did wonderfully, they passed with flying colors. The peri came in and said that I and the babies are in perfect health. She expected me to go full-term and everything would be perfect. I was crying when I left that appointment. I was so happy that everything was turning out how I had planned. Oh how funny life is.

I decided that since I was doing so well, I would go out to lunch with my mom. I went to her office and waited for her lunch hour. Finally, around one, we took a trip to the big Del Taco. I ate and ate and ate. It was so good! After about an hour, we were ready to leave and I went to the bathroom. I looked down and there was a spot of blood and my panties were soaked. I did not know what to think. I went out to the car where my mom was laughing. I told her oh great, I probably peed my pantsbut I don't know. We decided that I better take a trip to the hospital just to check and make sure. So I went laughing the whole way. When I got to the hospital, they examined me, it was probably just pee. They checked my cervix, I was still a 1. My contractions on the other hand were 1-2 minutes apart. I was just thinking, yea yea, we have been here before, just let me go home. The doc was aparently thinking the same thing and came in all ready to discharge me about 2 hours after she first checked my cervix. She said that she just wanted to check it one more time and then I could go home. When she checked, I was a 3 and 50% effaced. Now, I was not feeling any pain with these contractions, I have no clue what happened. Obviously, I wasn't going home.

So here I am today, 3 days later, on magnesium and wishing life would go a little faster. I hate the magnesium. Mostly, because I cannot drink hardly anything. I drink about 14-15 glasses of water a day and now they have me at maybe 3 or 4. I am so thirsty. I dream about water. I day dream about water. Supposely, it has something to do with not getting water in your lungs but I don't really care at this point. I am so uncomfortable. Even my butt is chapped. I am so oily and my face has broken out. I feel horrible because all I want to do is complain when I know that my babies are still inside of me kicking away. I just wish that I could be at home! To make matters worse, I am not able to see my daughter at all. The hospital has implemented a strict nobody under 18 is allowed in the hospital because of the swine flu. So if I am here for 4-5 more weeks, I cannot see her. Last night was the last night that I had with her. After she left, I just cried and cried and cried. I am probably going to miss her birthday. My parents are taking care of her right now while my husband comes straight from work and spends the night with me. I don't know how long that is going to last. She needs to be at home with her regular schedule, which means that I am going to have to be here by myself. I just keep trying to tell myself, 4 more weeks. I know that women here in the hospital have been here a lot longer, I know women on these blogs that have done months and months, but UGH!

28.5 weeks-30 weeks

It feels like I haven't been on this forever to update. It has actually been 3 weeks or so now. I am writing this from a hospital bed so it will probably be in two posts so it is not so long.

After my first baby shower that Sunday, I felt a little weird. I had gone a little crazy on the cake and ice cream and soda but I hadn't felt Jocelyn (baby A) move in what seemed like forever. But I thought, well, I will just give it awhile and we will see. I went to work Monday and I guess I sort of forgot about it. I don't know how you can forget but I did. On Monday night, I mentioned it to my hubby again and he wanted me to go to the doctor's office right away on Tuesday morning. So I did, thinking that I was crazy and everything was going to perfectly fine. Well, they scheduled me for a non-stress test. At that point, it was the first that I had ever had. She hooked me up to all the monitors and fairly quickly we (the nurse and I) started noticing all the contractions that were going on. I wasn't feeling them though. Then Jocelyn had a dip in her heartrate. It was only one but the nurse did not like that at all. Also she just wasn't as reactive as her sister was. She was moving from the ultrasound but her heartrate wasn't going up. The doctor came in to do a cervix check on me since I was having so many contractions and found that I was dilated to a 1. She said, "Go straight to the hospital."

Long story short, I was in the hospital for 1 day and a half. They gave me the steroids to help the babies lungs to mature and they kept me on contraction medication that they sent me home with. Even though, I was still contracting, the doctor took a look at my cervix before he cleared me to go home and I was still a 1. He said that the contractions were not changing my cervix so it didn't worry them. I was on bedrest for then on out and needed to follow up with my doc a few days later.

I did what they said, I stayed on bedrest for a few days. When I went to see my doctor, she checked my cervix again, still I was a 1. I asked her if I was able to take my daughter to school and pick her up in the afternoon. Basically, she told me to do what I needed to do as long as I wasn't having contractions.

So I did. I had the second baby shower with my in-laws but I took it easy. I sat down most all day. I felt great.

28 weeks!

I am just so relieved to see this day pass and still be pregnant! The babies are doing great still. I had a doc appointment yesterday. Their heartbeats were strong! My tummy was measuring 37 weeks for a singleton! That is so amazing. I just don't know how I am going to stretch far enough to make it to the goal-36 weeks and beyond! I am going to keep my fingers crossed for 32 weeks first! 28 days! Little steps...

This weekend is going to be a blast. Friday night we have our final twins and beyond class. Saturday is my husband's birthday-the big 2-6! Haha! We are going to go to dinner with family and friends. Sunday is my first of two baby showers! I am so excited! I am starting to get into that nesting mode I have heard so much about. I am making lists of things that we still need to do before the babies get here. It is so much! But with the baby shower's soon to be crossed off, at least we will know what we still need to buy for them. I will be doing lots of organizing and cooking! I wonder how long I will still be able to walk... I am already waddling so much.

Well, that is it for now. Hopefully I will be able to post some pictures of this weekend. God is definitely looking out for me and these angels growing inside of me!

26 weeks, 0 days

Wow! We have made it to 26 weeks. That makes me thrilled. What is even more thrilling is I got to see my baby girls today for the first time in 6 weeks. It has definitely been too long. I can't believe how big they have gotten

Jocelyn is 2.2 lbs. She is measuring 2 days ahead and is in the 56th percentile. She is baby A and was head down at our 18 weeks appointment but is now head up. The ultrasound tech says that she has plenty of time to turn back around so I am saying a little chant to persuade her. She puts her head into my ribs which is why I am feeling so much pressure up there.

Adelyn is 2.1 lbs but has a huge head. Her head is measuring at 27.5 weeks. The tech reassured me that she just had a big head and that there was nothing wrong with her. Because of her head circumference, she is measuring 6 days ahead but is only in the 53th percentile. She is also head up, right next to her sister. We got the cutest pic of them together.

Both of their fluids were good. If you can remember back about 4 weeks ago, my cervix was measuring 5.5 cm; today it was measuring 3.2-3.4 I do not like the sound of that but the tech didn't seem worried. She did do a vaginal ultrasound and applied pressure but it did not open up. She said that everything looked great.

So I guess I am cleared for camping this weekend. Our last camping trip that we will take with just us. Next you we will have two sweet little girls to bring with us.

25 weeks, 5 days

I know, I know, it has been almost 2 weeks since I have written last. I don't really have any excuses, just hugely pregnant and tired!
I am SO happy to still be pregnant. I have only 100 days left until I will have full-term beautiful baby girls. I doubt I will go that far, but its not bad to dream, huh? Tomorrow I have a doctor's appointment and Thursday we have the first ultrasound since I was 18 weeks along. I am so excited! I can't wait to see how big our baby girls have gotten. I know that they have grown a lot because my tummy is huge! Their new favorite thing to do is play indoor sports in my belly. They like soccer, hockey and football, at least that is what I am guessing as I watch my stomach go up and down in waves. It is so awesome. I laid on my back on the couch and watched them for about 45 minutes the other day in awe! Daddy gets to feel them all the time now and has even watched them playing their sports! My next goal is only 16 days away... 28 weeks... I can't believe it. Jocey and Adey are being such good girls staying inside!

We are going to go camping this weekend for the last time this season. My whole family is going and it should prove to be quite a great time. We are going up to Orca's Island in Washington and have to take a ferry to get to our camping spot. I'm sure that it is going to be beautiful. Devanne then starts school on Tuesday the 8th. I can't fathom that the summertime is already over. We finished all her school shopping so she is all set and excited to see all of her school friends again. 3rd grade... my goodness!

Well, hopefully, I will post the latest ultrasound pictures in a few days. Until then I hope all us 26 weekers stay pregnant!

24 WEEKS!!

I am so glad that we have made it to the 24 week mark! What is even better is that I feel great! I have an appointment today with my doctor so I will post more later... YEA!

23 weeks, 4 days

A lot has happened in the last week or so since I wrote last. As you probably read, 1 1/2 weeks ago, I went to the hospital for contractions and was placed on serious bed rest. I was really depressed about it but knew that if I got 2 healthy daughters out of the mix, I would make it. The following Monday I went to my doctor to get my cervix checked. The results were amazing. He did a vaginal scan and said that he could not even fit my cervix on the screen. It was over 5 cms long! It has grown 1 cm since about 5 weeks ago! Crazy! He did a ffn, that was negative. He also said my cervix was like steel. He took me off bed rest and lifted all restrictions! I was so happy when I left the office that day, I was crying my eyes out. Despite the assurance of my doctor, I have taken it pretty easy for the last week. I did go back to work full-time but I go home and put my feet up. My husband has been the bulk of all household chores which I must say has been fantastic! I just want to make sure that these babies make it all the way to 36 weeks (if not longer). I don't mind being pregnant until 40 weeks because I know that my babies will be healthy little girls.

Great news also was delivered last Monday. MY HUSBAND GOT A STATE JOB! Full family benefits are included. This has taken so much stress off of us. We were hoping that I would be able to quit work to stay at home with the girls but in my husband's current job to put us all on his insurance would have cost $1100/month. We wouldn't even been able to pay the rent. But fortunately my very intelligent husband got offered a great job with great benefits that we don't have to pay for. So though, money will still be tight, I will not have to work! I am so excited to stay at home and watch my babies grow up. I am also happy that I can contribute to my daughter's class by going to some class parties and field trips. I have never been able to do that and she was so excited when I let her know that I would volunteer for a field trip next year. She is such a sweetie!

Speaking of my daughter, in two short weeks, she is going to be in 3rd grade! I really can't believe it. We took her back to school shopping yesterday. That was quite an experience. As an ALMOST 9 year old, she has now decided that the clothes I pick out are so un-cool. She was very picky. Luckily, we agreed on a few things and I let her get her way with most everything except the pink hair-dye that she would just die if she didn't get. At the end of day, I asked her if she was happy that she was going to look so cool at school. She stated, "I would look cooler if my parents would let me dye my hair!" All I could do was laugh!

That's it for now. 2 1/2 days to viability! Even though, I have faith that we are going to make it so much longer than that.

22 weeks, 3 days

This has only been my second day on bedrest but I feel like I am going crazy already. I am in school, taking online classes so that is going to help a lot with boredom but everything on my body aches laying down. UGH! I haven't felt any contractions, which is good but (TMI coming up) I am feeling a lot of pressure or twinges in the vaginal area. I don't know what this is all about but I guess we will find out when I go to my doc tomorrow. I am supposed to get another cervix check.

My daughter is coming home today from Grandma's. She has been there for the whole week and I miss her so much! We haven't been away from each other for this long in a long time. I know the poor girl is going to want me to get up and play with her, so that is going to be hard. But I am so excited to see her!

Well, 11.5 days until 24 weeks... just keep going, I guess.

22 weeks, 2 days-BEDREST!

This just in, folks, I am officially on bedrest.

Yesterday morning, when I was at work, I noticed that I was having a lot of irritability/contractions. I tried to just not think about them and get some work done but by 12:30 or so I was worried. I was not quite sure what to do because I didn't want to go to the hospital for them just to tell me to go home but I didn't want to miss an opportunity to stop labor if it was really coming. I decided to call the advice nurse whom promptly stated to go straight to Labor and Delivery. I was scared again. When I got to L&D, they listened for the heartbeats; of course, Jocelyn didn't want to cooperate and it took them a long time to find hers. I was really freaking out. They finally found both of the HBs which sounded perfectly and hooked me up to the contraction moniter. I was contracting every 2-3 minutes. These were more like contractions, not irritability, even though they didn't really hurt. They gave me some turbutelin to try and stop the contractions but that didn't even make them waver. At the same time, the doc came in to examine me. My cervix is the same that it has always been, closed, firm, and 4 cms long. They gave me another medication to stop the contractions but it still didn't work. The doc was a little flabbergasted as to what to do. She told me that she was going to send me home with a prescription for the 2nd medication to take every 6 hours as needed. Since the contractions aren't changing my cervix, there is nothing that they can do for me in the hospital.

So I am on full blown bedrest until further notice... no work, no getting up unless I have to go to the bathroom. I don't know what I am going to do for the next 14 or so weeks. I think I am going to go stir-crazy. I am usually the kind of person that always wants to be on the run. I guess I can handle it knowing that my babies are safe and sound inside of me for another 98 days but who's counting anyway? I guess I am going to be on the internet a lot and watching TV, reading books... what else is there to do? I slept until 1:00 this after afternoon because c'mon what else is there to do? I am thinking about all the stuff I am going to miss over the next 3 or so months. School-shopping for my daughter, her starting soccer, first day of school, our family vacation to Orca's Island in September, our birthing classes, halloween...its all worth it if I have two healthy babies at the end.

21 weeks, 6 days

Everything is still doing great! I went in for another appointment yesterday, the doc confirmed that I am doing good. My cervix (hold in there, sister) was completely closed and still long (3.7 CM+). The babies are doing great, HBs 150's and 160's! My little babies are growing big and strong! I am having an ultrasound in 4 weeks on Sept 3rd. I will be 26 weeks and can't wait until I get past that viability date of 24 weeks. They will be sooo... big by 26 weeks! I am so excited

My daughter is staying the whole week with my mom this week. I miss her so much! I haven't been without her for this long since my honeymoon. She is enjoying herself and probably doesn't even miss it here, even though she says that she does. The hubby and I are besides ourselves with boredom. We are catching up on OZ, the series, and watching baby story. I am in bed by 9:30 every night. I feel like an old lady already!

Well, I am off to shave my legs that I haven't shaved in over 2 weeks... (opps did I actually say that?) I will leave you with my 21 week preggo pic...

21 weeks 1 day

Yesterday, I had a bit of a scare, actually a HUGE scare! I have been having a preterm labor nurse call me every week until the babies are born. This was set up by the hospital. When they call, they ask how my week went, if I have had any contractions, back pain or anything else that would suggest I am going into labor. The nurse emailed me yesterday. I emailed her back with a few things. A few days ago, I felt some tightening in my stomach. I couldn't really tell if they were contractions but it was really hot outside and I had been doing some cleaning, so I figured they were. I drank a bunch of water and went to bed and they went away. Yesterday, my lower back was killing me and I felt like (TMI coming up) I was having a lot of vaginal pressure. I was entirely concerned but wanted to ask her about them. She told me that I was probably having contractions and that it was a good thing that I got them to go away on my own. Then she said that I needed to keep a really close eye on my back pain and pressure. I kind of just deleted her email like it was nothing but as the day went by, the pain and the pressure were still there. I called my husband who said, "its better to be safe than sorry." So we called the nurse's advice line to ask their opinions. I thought that they might just tell me to come in and get checked out but instead they told me to go straight to Labor and Delivery. I started crying and freaking out. I didn't think it was that serious. As soon as I heard Labor and Delivery I was thinking, "but wait, I am not delivering anything..." I went to the hospital and the nurse hooked me up to a contraction moniter. Much to my astonishment, I was having very small contractions every 10 minutes. I started freaking out staring at the contraction moniter. I can feel the tightening of my stomach but I just figured it was the babies moving around in there. The doctor finally came in (about 2.5 hours later) and did a cervical check. My cervix was completely closed. They did a speculum exam to see if I had any infections... I did not. They looked at my urine to make sure that I was hydrated... they said I did a great job at that. They did a vaginal ultrasound to see if my cervix was shortening... it wasn't. By the end of 5 hours, they have no idea why I was having contractions. They think it might be from the heat... it is SO hot here but they aren't sure. The doctor says that she is not worried about it since my cervix has not changed a bit. She believes that the back ache is from the babies and has no clue why I feel pressure. Needless to say... I am realived about the cervix not being dialated but so scared about contractions. I don't think that this is normal.

I talked to the babies. I told them that they had 15 more weeks. They are not allowed out until 36 weeks and hopefully they will make it to 39 weeks. I told them they would be in big trouble if they came out before then... haha! like they are going to listen... they just twisted and kicked me more. I love these babies so much! They are my children. I am already the mother of 3 kids, I don't want anything to happen to them. I guess we will just have to see. I have an OB appointment on Tuesday so maybe MY doc will have something to say about it.

20 weeks, 4 days

Wow! Almost 2 weeks have gone by since I last wrote! Time is flying by so fast, I just can not believe it. I am feeling much better since the last time I posted. I am not feeling quite so depressed and anxious. I am extremely exhausted though.

We went camping again this weekend. I have no clue why I keep agreeing to go camping in hot, sticky, bug infested weather being 5 months pregnant with twins but I always get dragged away. It was a pretty good weekend. We went up to three pools (which is beautiful!). On Friday night after Josh and I got off of work we started the 2 hour drive there. We figured that we would just find a camping spot but unfortunately that wasn't the case. There was nothing! We drove around for 4 hours until about 10:30 or so when we decided to literally park on the side of the mountain and pitch a tent! We were waiting for my whole family to show up still. Around 12, they finally found us and all 14 of us ended up sleeping in our tent that night. Thank goodness we call it the Thomas Mansion for a reason. It is 3 bedrooms but it still didn't help that much! Needless to say, we all got up extra early the next morning to find a real camping spot and ended up finding a great one! The rest of the weekend went pretty great except for all the bugs. I probably have about 20-30 bug bites all over my body even though I put bug spray on at least once an hour. It feels horrible! We didn't get home until 10 Sunday night and I had to be up bright and early for work this morning! I'm so tired! I just want to go home and go to sleep. Who needs dinner, right? (except for the wonderful children growing in my belly! :)

Some really great news is that Josh finally felt the babies kick for the first time. I have been feeling them move everywhere for about a month now. But he never could... he finally did. He was such a proud daddy. I am excited for my next doc appt to come so I can hear their sweet heartbeats. I guess that's a good thing that I am going in every 2 weeks now so I can hear them and get the opportunity to see them more often! Ohh! And exciting news.. I won 4 lots of 0-3 month baby girl clothes on Ebay last week. When we came home from camping, all of them had been shipped to us. They are SOOOO... cute! I can't wait to see my angels wearing them!

19 weeks, 0 days

I have been discovering many blogs as I search around the world wide internet. I don't know if this is such a great thing for me because the more and more that I read them, the more I get anxious and scared for what is coming. My husband thinks I am nuts when I retell the stories of twin loss and micropreemies. He doesn't understand why I read them. I feel so sad for these families; I can't imagine having to go through what they have to go through on a daily basis. I had my daughter when I was 15 years old. I didn't have hardly any prenatal treatments and didn't do anything the way I was supposed to but thank God above, she is perfect. She was perfectly healthy when she was born and has continued to be perfectly healthy throughout the almost 9 years in this world. I am so grateful for this as I know that I did not deserve it. I just hope and pray everyday that my twins will be healthy. I have done everything right this time. I starting taking prenatal vitamins months before conceiving, I haven't drank a drop of alcohol since before we tried to conceive and I quit smoking cold turkey before conceiving because I knew that I wanted my babies to get the healthiest start at life possible. After reading all these blogs, I realized that these things do not always matter. I am scared. I try to tell my husband that I just like reading the blogs and that I know nothing is wrong with our babies but I am truly scared. I don't know how I would handle losing one of my kids or having an unhealthy child for the rest of my life. I do not know how anyone let alone myself could handle this. Every twinge that I feel in my body, every pain or movement, I pray that my two little girls are ok. Maybe I am crazy. Right now, I just want to go home and kiss my daughter. I want to hold her, kiss her and hug her and let her know how much I love her with everything a mother has to love. I want to tell her how grateful I am to have her in my life. I hope that she will always know this. I hope that my future children growing inside me know how much I love them already and how much I am hoping and praying that they come into this world knowing how much their parents want them healthy and happy.

I guess I am feeling a little depressed and tired today...

18 weeks, 1 day

WE ARE HAVING TWO GIRLS! I was so excited! I knew all along. It is weird how I had some sort of mother's intuition. Our two little babies look perfect. I was a little worried...



Yesterday, starting at around 8 A.M. I was having some pretty bad cramps. I chalked it up to being one of the babies must have been pushing down on the bottom of my tummy. At around 1 P.M. I went to the bathroom and saw a lil' bit of blood. I was so worried. I called my husband and he automatically freaked out. He wanted me to call the doctor right away and call him right back. I called the nurse and after being on wait for 30 minutes; they scheduled an appointment for me. I went in but the doctor did not see anything wrong. She listened to both of the heartbeats and they were perfect. She did a check done there and that looked fine as well. She told me since my ultrasound was going to be for the next day, we would just wait and see. I was a little scared but for some reason I just knew that everything was fine.

The next morning was really hard. I was so excited for the ultrasound that I woke up at around 3:30 in the morning and could not really go back to sleep. Also, I was going to be getting my blood drawn for a fasting gluclose test so I was starving! Finally aroun 7:00 I rolled out of bed. I got my husband and daughter up and suprisely the morning went by pretty quickly. I went and got my blood drawn ( I have to add that I love Kaiser for the type of needles they use; it doesn't hurt at all) and then my appointment for the ultrasound was at 9:00. They were running late so the nurse didn't actually call us back until 9:15. By that time I was shaking with excitement. We hadn't seen our babies since our 12 week appointment so the second that I saw them together was wonderful. They were perfect. They were kicking, moving and punching each other! The tech checked everything and they seem healthy in every way. They are 9 ozs each and 8 inches long each. I have so much baby inside of me already. Crazy! She checked my cervix and both placentas and has no clue why I bled a bit. She said that I am doing perfectly. And of course, we are having two girls. This makes me estactic. Even though I kind of wanted a boy just because I don't have a son yet, I have known since the beginning of the pregnancy that I was going to have two girls.

So I am going to be the mother of 3 girls! It is amazing and scary all at the same time. I was thinking yesterday what it will be like when they are all teenagers. Scary! I am just so happy and relieved that everything is ok and everybody is healthy!



This morning, although I was a bit nervous, I was so excited. I just felt that everything was going to be ok. My daughter got to come to the appointment with my husband and I.

16 weeks, 5 days!

Well, we had our prenatal appointment yesterday! Everything seemed to be perfect! I asked the doctor a whole bunch of questions that have been weighing on my mind and now she probably thinks that I am an anxious nut! But at least I got my answers... I feel a little sad that my family is not going to be able to be in the room with my husband and I when I deliver. I guess when you have twins, they automatically put you in the operating room to deliver. It makes sense to me but I really wanted to at least have my mom be there. Oh well, hopefully they can be in the room when I am laboring (if I deliver naturally). My doctor says that I am very healthy. My blood pressure is great... 108/60. That's even lower than when I wasn't pregnant. I have only gained 4 lbs. I was a bit disheartened when my doc said that she only wants me to gain 18-20 lbs the whole pregnancy. I am already a little overweight so that is the goal. That seems impossible. Goodness, I was skinny when I got pregnant with my daughter and I gained 70 lbs... this should be fun. The best part was when we got to hear their heartbeats for the first time... My daughter was with us and I was really happy that my husband and daughter could be there to experience this with me. The doc found both heartbeats right away. One baby is on my far right, a little high, no wonder I feel kicks every once in awhile in my ribs. The other baby is on my far left and a little lower. I felt this baby the other night stretching himself across the bottom of my tummy, pretty uncomfortable but cute anyway. The right baby's heartbeat was in the 160's and the left baby's was in the 150's. My husband is now positive that we are having a boy and a girl because the heartbeats are different. HAHA! We will see in 8 days. They are definitely counting down. I can't wait. It should go by fast since we have a lot to do this week. We are going camping with my husband's family. We are leaving Thursday night right when we get off of work and driving about 2 hours away. We are staying at the campground until Sunday. Monday will be back to work for me and then we just have 3 days until our 9 A.M appointment! YEA!

I have been feeling pretty good the last week or so. I am still tired and getting a lot more ligment pains but other than that I am good. I have been going on walks every night (thanks to my wonderful hubby who makes me!) and hiking on the weekends. That probably contributes to some of my pains but at least I am not sleeping the whole pregnancy away!

I will post next week with the sexes of our babies~

15 weeks, 5 days!

I can't believe how fast the time is flying by. I will be 16 weeks in two days! It is seriously amazing. I have actually been feeling so much better lately. I am still exhausted. Whoever said that tiredness is supposed to go away in the 2nd trimester obviously wasn't preggo with twins. I am pooped everyday when I get home from work. I have been trying to exercise more. My husband has been making me take a walk every night after dinner. I hate him everyday for it but I am sure that it is good for me. Also, my family and I have been going hiking a lot this month. This last weekend we went to a local waterfall. We hiked 3.5 miles. It was worth it when I saw the waterfall but I have to admit that I wanted to die on the way up. I have been trying to eat better as well. It is still hard because everything that is bad for me sounds so good. But I have been forcing myself to have a good breakfast and lunch. Then sometimes for dinner, I splurge. I have only gained about 2 lbs so far... I guess that is pretty good. I was reading some other pregnant mothers weight gains that are as far along as I am and some of them have gained 10-15 lbs with one. That is probably good for them but since I was already overweight to begin with, I am glad that I haven't started gaining weight that rapidly. I know the babies are growing because my stomach is growing at an alarming rate everyday. I look like I am 5-6 months pregnant already! It is crazy. I think that I have been feeling them move. I am not completely sure but every so often I feel a lil' tap-tap. It will go on for a few minutes and then it will be a couple more hours (or the next day) but I feel something else. It is probably just the beginning. I can't wait to feel them all the time. I know that I will want that to be over with when I can't sleep at night but it will make me feel so much better knowing that they are alright in there. I am excited for my prenatal appointment next Monday. My husband and I are going to bring our daughter for the first time. I am hoping that we will be able to hear the heartbeats. Our daughter wants to hear them so bad! Our ultrasound is scheduled for July 9th! I can't wait for that! I want to know what if I am having the two girls that I think I am. My husband thinks that there are two boys and my daughter thinks that there is going to be a boy and a girl but I have felt since the beginning that I am having two girls, I don't know why.

I am just so happy to have made it to this point without any major problems and hope that the coming months are going to be a bunch of the same. I was looking at the majority of the twin mothers have their children around 35-36 weeks, if that is true I have only 20 weeks left! That is so soon. I don't know if I am ready but I want to see their sweet faces!

14 weeks, 0 days

WE MADE IT TO THE 2nd TRIMESTER! Hope the next 26 weeks go as fast... I want to see my babies!

13 weeks, 5 days

I had such a great weekend, spending time with my family. My grandparents came up from California for my brother's high school graduation. It is always so fun when my papa and grandma are here. I spent the whole weekend with them and had a blast.

As for my week in pregnancy, it has been different than lately. I haven't really been feeling sick just EXHAUSTED! I feel like I want to sleep constantly. Earlier last week I was feeling like the morning sickness came back but it has settled again. I just want to sleep. Give me a bed and a pillow and I am good. My tummy is getting gigantic. I can't wait until I can really feel the little ones. The biggest change is that my colustrum came in this week. I didn't expect that so early. With my daughter I don't think it came in until I was 5 or so months along. My husband and I noticed the other day. I have also noticed that I am extremely cranky. I feel like biting people's heads off. Haha! My appetite has come back and I am afraid that the weight that I kept off for the first 3 months has come! UGH!

Anyways, here's looking to week 14!

12 weeks, 5 days

UGH! The morning sickness has returned with a vengeance. I thought that it had gone away for good but since yesterday, it is back! What is up with that? I thought that it might be gone now since I hit the 12 week mark. HAHA! Yea right! I am feeling nausea again and I am exhausted! There was a week or two that I didn't feel exhausted, I could stay up after I got home from work. But, no! That is back as well. I have also noticed (as I am sure that my poor husband has noticed, as well) that I am so hormonal and emotional. It is especially when I am really tired, I just cry about the stupidest things. I really am not complaining (that much!). I am happy that I can still feel pregnant. At least I know that they are still in there (kicking up a storm, hopefully). But hopefully when I can feel them start moving, the sickness will go away! PLEASE COME 2nd TRIMESTER!

One more thing, my stomach is gigantic! I never imagined that I would be this big so early! Everyone at work can tell that I am showing! I will try to post a pic again!

My grandparents are coming on Thursday! YEA! I'll write more next week!

12 weeks, 1 day!

All I have to say is THANK GOD! My babies are ok. We went two days ago to the doctor's office for our 2nd prenatal appointment. I was so nervous and scared! I thought for sure that something would be wrong... vanishing twin syndrome... no heartbeat! I thought of every bad possible thing! My husband kept telling me, "it's going to be ok, honey." But I did not believe him for a second. The appointment setter said that we were going to be listening to the heartbeats today, so I just kept thinking... "Please, God!" When the appointment finally started (it felt like it took an eternity) I expected the doctor to pull out the doppler and listen to my babies but instead she pulled out the ultrasound machine! She said that it would be a lot easier to tell if they were ok by looking at them. The second that camera was on my stomach was the second I started bawling my eyes out! There they BOTH were, kicking and punching and moving around like crazy kids. I was so overwhelmed with feelings! I swear that I can feel them sometimes, I know that it is probably just gas but when I saw them moving like that, I realized that I could seriously be feeling them. They were so big! They looked like real little alien babies! I am so in love and can't wait to see them again, JULY 9th! Supposely we will find out if they are boys or girls at this ultrasound. Our daughter gets to come also and she is very excited! I am finally halfway convinced that everything is going to turn out alright. We are already pretty much past the miscarriage stage and as a long as I don't go into extreme pre-term labor, my babies are going to come out perfect!
This is going to be a busy week! My brother is graduating from high school so my grandparents are coming up from California. We only get to see them once a year or longer so I am going to spend as much time with them as possible! This is also the last full week of school for my big girl! I can't believe that after the summer she will be in 3rd grade! Time flies! My husband graduates with his master's degree in less than two weeks as well. I am so proud of my smart hubby! Life is going great right now! I am very excited to start our next chapter.

Here's a tummy pic! Well, actually right now it is not letting me upload the pic! I will try later...

10 weeks, 6 days

I can't believe how fast time is passing. It seems like just yesterday I was taking a pregnancy test to find out if I was pregnant or not. Now I am going to be 11 weeks pregnant with twins. It is crazy. I am not having so much morning sickness which is nice. But I am having a lot of indigestion, bloating, and exhaustion. I am really scared for my 2nd prenatal appointment next week. I am just hoping that everything is going well, both of my babies are doing well and that we get to hear both of their heartbeats. The doctor says that there is practically no chance of me having a miscarriage because they saw such great heartbeats but I don't really believe it until I see my little ones. 1 more week...

Everything else is going well. My husband is going to graduate with his master's degree in 3 weeks. That is going to be great! My daughter only has a couple weeks left of school also. I can't believe that she is going to be in 3rd grade! Time just flies. We are going on our first official camping trip of the season this weekend. My whole family is coming and we are going up to Mt. Hood. I am excited for that. We did go camping just Josh and I for 1 night last weekend and I really enjoyed that. I am looking forward to this summer when we have a lot of family time. My grandparents are coming into town for my brother's high school graduation on June 5th! I am so excited!

8 weeks 5 days

This weekend was crazy busy and I am still exhausted from it. On Saturday, we drove down to Salem for a wedding reception. It was nice to see my husband's family and know that they were very excited for the twins as well. On Sunday we had to drive to Salem again for a cousin's birthday party. I was so exhausted after church and making it to the party that last night, I fell assleep in about 5 seconds flat. Being pregnant is tiring work...

On another note, I am still sick mostly everyday. I have felt a bit better today and I think that I realized why. I ate toast this morning and bought some strawberries and grazed on them throughout the whole morning. Making myself eat might be a good thing. Even though I haven't vomited yet, I have lost about 2 pounds. It's amazing though that while losing weight, a pregnant tummy just keeps getting bigger and bigger. I'm only going to be 9 weeks and I am already bigger than my aunt who is 16 weeks pregnant with one. It is crazy when I look at myself in the mirror. With my first daughter I didn't even show until I was 7 months along. Maybe it is that this is my second pregnancy and also there are 2 growing in there. I will post a picture when I can.

Thanks for reading.

8 weeks 0 days

First off, I would like to say that my new nephew is here! He was born yesterday at 9:41 A.M. He is 7 lbs 3 ozs and 20 inches long. He is so adorable. I am in love with him already... perfectly healthy and my sister is doing awesome as well. I was so hormonal yesterday after watching his birth. I had this overwhelming sense that this was actually real. I am actually going to have TWO babies. I suddenly felt like my world was falling in. I was so anxious... I was thinking how am I going to take care of two babies? How was the whole hospital thing going to work? How am I going to hold both of my babies? I know that people have been having twins for a long time but I just feel so worried about me actually doing it. Of course everyone was telling me that they are going to help and that I was not going to be alone. I know that my husband will be there and that he will help probably more than I want him to but at some point he has to go to work. Once the fancy wears off, people aren't going to be so willing to come and do my laundry and let me take a shower. I know that I am going to make it, I know that I will love these babies and do everything I can for them... I am just scared.

On top of all the stress that I have been feeling, my gluclose levels came back abnormal. So I not only had to drink that nasty orange drink once but today I had to go back and drink it again. I had to do a 3 hour gluclose test which meant fasting for 12 hours first. I then went in around 8. They took my blood the first time then sent me out of the waiting room. Around a half hour later, they called me in to drink the nasty drink. Then made me go back out to the waiting room for an hour. Exactly an hour later I went back in for them to draw my blood again. At this point I was very nauseous and it was obvious that the techs knew it so they drew my blood then gave me a room to lay down in. They let me know that if I vomited, I would have to come back tomorrow and start all over again before they left me alone. I waited for another hour and went back to get my blood drawn again. They poked me and realized that that vein did not want to give anymore blood so they had to retry in the other arm. So fun! I then went back in the room for one more hour before they drew their final vial. So as of right now, I haven't eaten for about 16 hours. I am exhausted and still nauseous. I can not even fathom eating anything without throwing it up and I had to go to work! I am practically falling out of my desk. I know that I have to eat something at some point but I really don't want to up chuck at work. How embarassing.

On a nice note, my stomach is feeling completely pregnant. It is getting bigger and bigger with each day that passes. I have not stopped worrying about the health of my precious cargo but everytime I look at my growing stomach, it makes me feel a little better. Hopefully I don't have diabetes but if I do, I will do everything in my power to make sure these babies stay and grow healthy.

7 weeks 4 days

Wow! What a weekend it has been!

I ended up going to the ER on Saturday night because I was having cramping all day. The tenderness started from the morning and as the day progressed, the sharp pains started. I was freaking out so I went into the ER. The doctor seemed like such a scmuck. He told me that basically there was nothing that he could do and that if I was going to lose the babies, I was going to lose the babies. Obviously I know that there is nothing he could do to stop it, but c'mon! How about some reassurance? To make matters worse, I asked him to perform an ultrasound to check both of the babies, make sure that they both had heartbeats, etc... He did not want to do that because he said that if they were going to die there was nothing he could do about it. I basically made him do an abdominal, he would not do a vaginal. He only found one heartbeat! He wouldn't look for the other one. He told me, "well, we found one, so I'm sure that the other is ok." I was so scared! On Sunday, I felt much better cramping wise but was still scared and tired from the long stay.

Today was my first prenatal appointment. I told the doctor about the ER incident and thankfully, she was very concerned. She wheeled in an ultrasound machine right away and did a vaginal u/s. She found both of the beating hearts. That made me feel so much better. Everything else in the appointment went great. She said that because I am having twins, it is a high risk pregnany but she doesn't forsee any problems, whatsoever. She does want me to register for the one hospital that Kaiser has that has a 3 level NICU in case I go into preterm labor. All of these things are flying through my head now and I am so worried and excited at the same time. Now that we saw both of the heartbeats, the chances of miscarriage is very slim but you never know if and when these babies are going to decide to come out. My personal goal is to carry them for 37 weeks. However, I have to do that...

My next appointment is at the end of the month. I will be 12 weeks and supposely we will hear the heartbeats! So exciting!

That's all for now.

7 weeks 0 days

It was Bring Your Kid To Work Day today. This was the first time that I have ever been able to participate in this activity since before working as a case manager, I was a General Manager of a Wendy's. I don't think my daughter, Devanne was too excited about coming to work with me at first but HEY! at least it got her out of school for one day. My work is totally awesome and have lots of different activities planned for her to do all day. There were about 10 kids here that were around her age and she has had a great time so far. I love Devanne, my littlest baby (for now) so much! She means the world to me and I can't believe how fast she is growing up.

I made it to 7 weeks! The time seems to be going faster and faster. I am excited for my prenatal appointment coming up on Monday. This weekend shouldn't be too bad either. Saturday, Devanne has a softball game at 4 and then she is going to spend the night at my mom's house for the night. I think Josh is going to take me out to play bingo. Bingo is SO fun! I haven't been forever either! Just not enough money in the world... Sunday, I think we are going to go to church. This will be different for us as Josh is Buddhist and I just don't go to church. When we were having a bunch of problems with bleeding and cramps, I thought that I was going to lose the babies. I told myself in my head that if God let these babies survive that I would believe in him and I would go to church. Little did I know, Josh had told himself the same thing. We decided to start going to a Christian church that is down the street from our house and I am quite excited about it. I really want my children to grow up with some faith. Devanne was baptized Catholic but she has only been to church a handful of times and doesn't much enjoy it. I am hoping that we can get her into it.

I will be sure to post on Monday after the doctor's appointment if I don't before that.

6 weeks, 6 days

Hello everybody! I am feeling pretty ok today. It scares me a little. I still have not gotten true morning sickness (puking). The only symptom I have been feeling lately is tired! Other than that I have just been quite hormonal. I have been really snappy at my husband, thankfully, he is being sweet about it. I hope that this is normal. I have my first prenatal appointment on Monday and hope that they will quell all of my fears. I can't imagine losing my babies now.

I have so many hopes and dreams for the future now. I can't wait until I have a family of five. I can't imagine myself a mother of three. But like I told my husband, no matter what happens with these babies, I will always be a mother of three from here on out. I am so connected to them already.

6 weeks, 5 days

Wow! This week has gone by fast. My daughter had 5 softball game throughout the week and it was actually good weather so that was nice!

I have been thinking about how scared I am to have these two babies. I don't know how to handle two. One would have been fantastic, two is a little crazy. I am worried about having a c-section and if my babies will be healthy. I am worried about premature labor and whether my babies will have to stay in the hospital. Is this normal? Do all people worry like this? I am also very excited for everything to come. I know that I am going to love these 2 babies so much. I know I have enough love for all of my family. I am worried about my daughter also. She is feeling a bit jealous already since the family is so excited about 2 babies. I wonder how she is going to handle all this coming.

This week has been exhausting! I am tired all the time. My stomach is definetely getting bigger. It is so weird that I am already showing. I can't wait for my doctor's appointment next Monday. I will be 7 weeks, 4 days and hopefully they can answer some of my questions and ease some of my worries.

6 weeks and 1 day

IT'S TWINS!

We went for the ultrasound today. I was so scared and nervous. They did a regular stomach ultrasound first as soon as they put the camera on my stomach, I saw them. TWO SACS! I asked the tech about them and she said, "Well, let's just wait until we do the vaginal ultrasound." We did the vaginal and there they were again. Two perfectly healthy babies. They had two sacs and their heartbeats were perfect. I was crying so much and my husband was so happy.

This explains so much! It seems like I have been showing for 2 weeks already, why I am so exhausted and why I am feeling so much nausea! I can't wait for my little ones to come. I just want to hug and squeeze them!

6 weeks 0 days

I feel so tired and nauseous. I never remember feeling this way with my first daughter. Since I found out I was pregnant with this one, I have been exhausted! I go home everyday from work and take an hour or so nap. It makes me feel guilty because my daughter needs as much time with me as possible, but I can't help it. By 10 P.M. I am exhausted again, falling assleep so fast, I start drooling.

I am also very nauseous even though I am not getting sick yet. My stomach feels like it is empty all the time, I feel like I have little butterflies fluttering around in there. When I eat is when I feel really sick. It doesn't matter what kind of food, my stomach feels bloated and full. I am hoping everyday to vomit thinking that that will make it better, but I hear that it doesn't. Ah! The joys of motherhood are wonderous! On Tuesday I was craving a nice greasy hamburger and fries, so I ate them for lunch. Then yesterday I packed my lunch but was not feeling hungry whatsoever. When my coworkers sat next to me, I thought that I was going to die. On one side of me, my co-worker had a double bacon cheeseburger with fries and on the other side my other co-worker had a regular cheeseburger and fries. I thought I was going to lose it right there in the cafeteria. I shoved my face full of grapes so that I couldn't smell the greasy mess!

Another thing is that I am constantly thirsty! I have been drinking so much water lately. I don't really crave any other drink besides water and I am drinking 90-100 ozs a day! I heard that drinking too much water isn't good for you but I don't think I am drinking too much. I could drink more.

I am so excited for the ultrasound tomorrow! My husband is so excited! He said he was so happy that the appointment was in the morning so that he doesn't have to wait the whole day for it. I'm a little worried about drinking 32 ozs of water and not being able to go to the bathroom after but I'm sure that I will be fine or I will pee all over the doctor's table. Of course I am worried that the baby is not in there or the baby is not in my uterus. But I am getting a bit better about that. I figured that if it was an ectopic pregnancy I would be feeling a lot more pain. What if it is triplets or more? I am so anxious to know. Only 22 more hours until the appointment. I will keep everybody updated!

5 weeks 6 days

I still can't believe that I am actually pregnant. I have been wanting a child for a couple of years now and everytime I think it might happen something gets in the way. I guess I could start from the beginning.

I had my wonderful, beautiful daughter at the ripe 'ol age of 15. I loved her from the time I saw her. There was no way that my little bundle of joy was ever going to be anything more than a wonderful experience for me. I know that I was young but I always tried my hardest and worked my booty off. I continued school and worked to support her. Thank God, I had my family. My mom has always been there for me. Even though she was disappointed, she never once said that I couldn't do it. She has loved my daughter just as much as I have from the beginning. I can't thank her enough for everything that she has done for me. When I was 18, I moved out of my family's home and into my own. I continued working and supporting my daughter the best I could. At the time I was in a long-term relationship (not my daughter's father), I thought I was happy but I guess I never really was. We were together for 5 years before he moved out and I moved on. At this point, my daughter was 6 years old. We moved into our own place and started making a life of our own. I had wanted a baby for a couple of years but knew that it wasn't a possibility in the relationship that I was in.

Fast forward! I met my husband for the first time on August 31st 2007. I fell in love instantly. He was everything I ever dreamed of and intelligent to boot. To top it off, he loved my daughter to the high heavens and wanted to have more kids in the future. It didn't take long that we were engaged and living together. On June 15th 2008, we were married. Our life was and continues to be so great. We are two peas in a pod and love each other endlessly. He loves my daughter as his own and she loves him more than she loves me (that's my thought anyways!)

We knew that we wanted more children but that I did not have regular periods so we went in to see an OB for a couple of preliminary tests. The first thing she did was perform a pap smear and a few weeks later, the results came back that I had the beginnings of cervical cancer. I was devastated. We had to do a LEEP procedure. They took out a part of my cervix and performed more tests to moniter my improvement. At the same time (right around August '08) we started seeing a fertility specialist. We figured out that I do not ovulate well, because my periods are so irregular and come when they please. The doctor wanted to wait to get back my test results from the pap smears before going forward with fertility treatment. In January '09 we got the results that stated I did not have any cervical cancer and we could go forward with having babies. They automatically put me on 50 mg of clomid and told me to wait it out. I waited the 14-18 days after my period and the ovulation never came. We anxiously waited for February's period to come so that I could start on 100 mg of clomid. February's period never came and the horrible part was that I wasn't even pregnant. They had to start me on hormones to get my period to start and on March 5th 2009, it came. Instead of taking the 100 mg of clomid, they put me on 150 mg and told me good luck.

On March 19th, exactly 14 days later, I ovulated! We were so excited! We scheduled an insemination for the next day. We were so nervous and scared the following day when we went in for the insemination. My husband just knew that we were going to get pregnant (on the first try!) and I was scared that I wasn't. The next week crawled by. I was getting antsy and decided to buy the early pregnancy detecter strips online. On Saturday, March 28th, only 9 days after the insemination, I got two lite pink lines! We cried and laughed all at the same time. On Sunday, I took another test, it was positive and on Monday, we decided to take a Clearblue digital home pregnancy test, thinking that it was too early for it to come out positive. IT DID! Of course, we called and told everyone that we could think of. I cried and cried and cried! The happiness didn't last long.

About a week after we found out, I started bleeding and cramping. I had no idea what was going on and I tried to look up every bit of information up on the internet that I could. Everything pointed to not so great news. The doctor thought I was possibly having an ectopic pregnancy. It was way too soon to get an ultrasound, so they started making me go in for HcG testing. I went in the first day and went back to work in tears. I couldn't believe that I finally get pregnant and it might be all taken away from me so quickly. The lab called me and told me the results were 261 and I was 3 weeks 6 days pregnant. They said that sounded about normal but I would need to come back in the next week and see if they could get an HCG level over 2000 so they could do an ultrasound. The next day, I had to go home from work early because I was in so much pain. The doctor made me come in and do an examine on me. After looking at my records, she finally realized that I had just had a LEEP procedure 4 months ago. She assured me that the bleeding could be from that and that I might just be having normal pregnancy pains. I went home and went back the next day for more HCG testings. It was at a 591! More than doubled from two days before. They made me wait until the next week to go in again. I was 4 weeks and 5 days along and my HCG levels had doubled to 2881! They rushed me to the ultrasound room. The tech could not see much of anything. She said that I had a fluid like sac (in my uterus!) that measured about 4 wk and 5 days but she could not be sure. They told me that I would have to come back.

My next ultrasound appointment in on Friday. I will be 6 weeks and 1 day along and hopefully they will be able to see the baby. I have been looking up what you are supposed to be at 6 weeks pregnant and everything says that I should be able to see the fetal pole and maybe even the heartbeat. I haven't had much morning sickness. I have had more night sickness though. I feel so tired and my breasts are very sore. All of these are good signs that Friday is going to go well, hopefully. The doctors said that I have a good chance of multiples since I was taking clomid, so we will find that out as well. We wouldn't mind having twins! I wouldn't mind at all. I just want to know that everything is ok and that this pregnancy is going to last.

Everyone think good thoughts!