21 weeks 1 day

Yesterday, I had a bit of a scare, actually a HUGE scare! I have been having a preterm labor nurse call me every week until the babies are born. This was set up by the hospital. When they call, they ask how my week went, if I have had any contractions, back pain or anything else that would suggest I am going into labor. The nurse emailed me yesterday. I emailed her back with a few things. A few days ago, I felt some tightening in my stomach. I couldn't really tell if they were contractions but it was really hot outside and I had been doing some cleaning, so I figured they were. I drank a bunch of water and went to bed and they went away. Yesterday, my lower back was killing me and I felt like (TMI coming up) I was having a lot of vaginal pressure. I was entirely concerned but wanted to ask her about them. She told me that I was probably having contractions and that it was a good thing that I got them to go away on my own. Then she said that I needed to keep a really close eye on my back pain and pressure. I kind of just deleted her email like it was nothing but as the day went by, the pain and the pressure were still there. I called my husband who said, "its better to be safe than sorry." So we called the nurse's advice line to ask their opinions. I thought that they might just tell me to come in and get checked out but instead they told me to go straight to Labor and Delivery. I started crying and freaking out. I didn't think it was that serious. As soon as I heard Labor and Delivery I was thinking, "but wait, I am not delivering anything..." I went to the hospital and the nurse hooked me up to a contraction moniter. Much to my astonishment, I was having very small contractions every 10 minutes. I started freaking out staring at the contraction moniter. I can feel the tightening of my stomach but I just figured it was the babies moving around in there. The doctor finally came in (about 2.5 hours later) and did a cervical check. My cervix was completely closed. They did a speculum exam to see if I had any infections... I did not. They looked at my urine to make sure that I was hydrated... they said I did a great job at that. They did a vaginal ultrasound to see if my cervix was shortening... it wasn't. By the end of 5 hours, they have no idea why I was having contractions. They think it might be from the heat... it is SO hot here but they aren't sure. The doctor says that she is not worried about it since my cervix has not changed a bit. She believes that the back ache is from the babies and has no clue why I feel pressure. Needless to say... I am realived about the cervix not being dialated but so scared about contractions. I don't think that this is normal.

I talked to the babies. I told them that they had 15 more weeks. They are not allowed out until 36 weeks and hopefully they will make it to 39 weeks. I told them they would be in big trouble if they came out before then... haha! like they are going to listen... they just twisted and kicked me more. I love these babies so much! They are my children. I am already the mother of 3 kids, I don't want anything to happen to them. I guess we will just have to see. I have an OB appointment on Tuesday so maybe MY doc will have something to say about it.

20 weeks, 4 days

Wow! Almost 2 weeks have gone by since I last wrote! Time is flying by so fast, I just can not believe it. I am feeling much better since the last time I posted. I am not feeling quite so depressed and anxious. I am extremely exhausted though.

We went camping again this weekend. I have no clue why I keep agreeing to go camping in hot, sticky, bug infested weather being 5 months pregnant with twins but I always get dragged away. It was a pretty good weekend. We went up to three pools (which is beautiful!). On Friday night after Josh and I got off of work we started the 2 hour drive there. We figured that we would just find a camping spot but unfortunately that wasn't the case. There was nothing! We drove around for 4 hours until about 10:30 or so when we decided to literally park on the side of the mountain and pitch a tent! We were waiting for my whole family to show up still. Around 12, they finally found us and all 14 of us ended up sleeping in our tent that night. Thank goodness we call it the Thomas Mansion for a reason. It is 3 bedrooms but it still didn't help that much! Needless to say, we all got up extra early the next morning to find a real camping spot and ended up finding a great one! The rest of the weekend went pretty great except for all the bugs. I probably have about 20-30 bug bites all over my body even though I put bug spray on at least once an hour. It feels horrible! We didn't get home until 10 Sunday night and I had to be up bright and early for work this morning! I'm so tired! I just want to go home and go to sleep. Who needs dinner, right? (except for the wonderful children growing in my belly! :)

Some really great news is that Josh finally felt the babies kick for the first time. I have been feeling them move everywhere for about a month now. But he never could... he finally did. He was such a proud daddy. I am excited for my next doc appt to come so I can hear their sweet heartbeats. I guess that's a good thing that I am going in every 2 weeks now so I can hear them and get the opportunity to see them more often! Ohh! And exciting news.. I won 4 lots of 0-3 month baby girl clothes on Ebay last week. When we came home from camping, all of them had been shipped to us. They are SOOOO... cute! I can't wait to see my angels wearing them!

19 weeks, 0 days

I have been discovering many blogs as I search around the world wide internet. I don't know if this is such a great thing for me because the more and more that I read them, the more I get anxious and scared for what is coming. My husband thinks I am nuts when I retell the stories of twin loss and micropreemies. He doesn't understand why I read them. I feel so sad for these families; I can't imagine having to go through what they have to go through on a daily basis. I had my daughter when I was 15 years old. I didn't have hardly any prenatal treatments and didn't do anything the way I was supposed to but thank God above, she is perfect. She was perfectly healthy when she was born and has continued to be perfectly healthy throughout the almost 9 years in this world. I am so grateful for this as I know that I did not deserve it. I just hope and pray everyday that my twins will be healthy. I have done everything right this time. I starting taking prenatal vitamins months before conceiving, I haven't drank a drop of alcohol since before we tried to conceive and I quit smoking cold turkey before conceiving because I knew that I wanted my babies to get the healthiest start at life possible. After reading all these blogs, I realized that these things do not always matter. I am scared. I try to tell my husband that I just like reading the blogs and that I know nothing is wrong with our babies but I am truly scared. I don't know how I would handle losing one of my kids or having an unhealthy child for the rest of my life. I do not know how anyone let alone myself could handle this. Every twinge that I feel in my body, every pain or movement, I pray that my two little girls are ok. Maybe I am crazy. Right now, I just want to go home and kiss my daughter. I want to hold her, kiss her and hug her and let her know how much I love her with everything a mother has to love. I want to tell her how grateful I am to have her in my life. I hope that she will always know this. I hope that my future children growing inside me know how much I love them already and how much I am hoping and praying that they come into this world knowing how much their parents want them healthy and happy.

I guess I am feeling a little depressed and tired today...

18 weeks, 1 day

WE ARE HAVING TWO GIRLS! I was so excited! I knew all along. It is weird how I had some sort of mother's intuition. Our two little babies look perfect. I was a little worried...



Yesterday, starting at around 8 A.M. I was having some pretty bad cramps. I chalked it up to being one of the babies must have been pushing down on the bottom of my tummy. At around 1 P.M. I went to the bathroom and saw a lil' bit of blood. I was so worried. I called my husband and he automatically freaked out. He wanted me to call the doctor right away and call him right back. I called the nurse and after being on wait for 30 minutes; they scheduled an appointment for me. I went in but the doctor did not see anything wrong. She listened to both of the heartbeats and they were perfect. She did a check done there and that looked fine as well. She told me since my ultrasound was going to be for the next day, we would just wait and see. I was a little scared but for some reason I just knew that everything was fine.

The next morning was really hard. I was so excited for the ultrasound that I woke up at around 3:30 in the morning and could not really go back to sleep. Also, I was going to be getting my blood drawn for a fasting gluclose test so I was starving! Finally aroun 7:00 I rolled out of bed. I got my husband and daughter up and suprisely the morning went by pretty quickly. I went and got my blood drawn ( I have to add that I love Kaiser for the type of needles they use; it doesn't hurt at all) and then my appointment for the ultrasound was at 9:00. They were running late so the nurse didn't actually call us back until 9:15. By that time I was shaking with excitement. We hadn't seen our babies since our 12 week appointment so the second that I saw them together was wonderful. They were perfect. They were kicking, moving and punching each other! The tech checked everything and they seem healthy in every way. They are 9 ozs each and 8 inches long each. I have so much baby inside of me already. Crazy! She checked my cervix and both placentas and has no clue why I bled a bit. She said that I am doing perfectly. And of course, we are having two girls. This makes me estactic. Even though I kind of wanted a boy just because I don't have a son yet, I have known since the beginning of the pregnancy that I was going to have two girls.

So I am going to be the mother of 3 girls! It is amazing and scary all at the same time. I was thinking yesterday what it will be like when they are all teenagers. Scary! I am just so happy and relieved that everything is ok and everybody is healthy!



This morning, although I was a bit nervous, I was so excited. I just felt that everything was going to be ok. My daughter got to come to the appointment with my husband and I.