8 weeks 0 days

First off, I would like to say that my new nephew is here! He was born yesterday at 9:41 A.M. He is 7 lbs 3 ozs and 20 inches long. He is so adorable. I am in love with him already... perfectly healthy and my sister is doing awesome as well. I was so hormonal yesterday after watching his birth. I had this overwhelming sense that this was actually real. I am actually going to have TWO babies. I suddenly felt like my world was falling in. I was so anxious... I was thinking how am I going to take care of two babies? How was the whole hospital thing going to work? How am I going to hold both of my babies? I know that people have been having twins for a long time but I just feel so worried about me actually doing it. Of course everyone was telling me that they are going to help and that I was not going to be alone. I know that my husband will be there and that he will help probably more than I want him to but at some point he has to go to work. Once the fancy wears off, people aren't going to be so willing to come and do my laundry and let me take a shower. I know that I am going to make it, I know that I will love these babies and do everything I can for them... I am just scared.

On top of all the stress that I have been feeling, my gluclose levels came back abnormal. So I not only had to drink that nasty orange drink once but today I had to go back and drink it again. I had to do a 3 hour gluclose test which meant fasting for 12 hours first. I then went in around 8. They took my blood the first time then sent me out of the waiting room. Around a half hour later, they called me in to drink the nasty drink. Then made me go back out to the waiting room for an hour. Exactly an hour later I went back in for them to draw my blood again. At this point I was very nauseous and it was obvious that the techs knew it so they drew my blood then gave me a room to lay down in. They let me know that if I vomited, I would have to come back tomorrow and start all over again before they left me alone. I waited for another hour and went back to get my blood drawn again. They poked me and realized that that vein did not want to give anymore blood so they had to retry in the other arm. So fun! I then went back in the room for one more hour before they drew their final vial. So as of right now, I haven't eaten for about 16 hours. I am exhausted and still nauseous. I can not even fathom eating anything without throwing it up and I had to go to work! I am practically falling out of my desk. I know that I have to eat something at some point but I really don't want to up chuck at work. How embarassing.

On a nice note, my stomach is feeling completely pregnant. It is getting bigger and bigger with each day that passes. I have not stopped worrying about the health of my precious cargo but everytime I look at my growing stomach, it makes me feel a little better. Hopefully I don't have diabetes but if I do, I will do everything in my power to make sure these babies stay and grow healthy.

7 weeks 4 days

Wow! What a weekend it has been!

I ended up going to the ER on Saturday night because I was having cramping all day. The tenderness started from the morning and as the day progressed, the sharp pains started. I was freaking out so I went into the ER. The doctor seemed like such a scmuck. He told me that basically there was nothing that he could do and that if I was going to lose the babies, I was going to lose the babies. Obviously I know that there is nothing he could do to stop it, but c'mon! How about some reassurance? To make matters worse, I asked him to perform an ultrasound to check both of the babies, make sure that they both had heartbeats, etc... He did not want to do that because he said that if they were going to die there was nothing he could do about it. I basically made him do an abdominal, he would not do a vaginal. He only found one heartbeat! He wouldn't look for the other one. He told me, "well, we found one, so I'm sure that the other is ok." I was so scared! On Sunday, I felt much better cramping wise but was still scared and tired from the long stay.

Today was my first prenatal appointment. I told the doctor about the ER incident and thankfully, she was very concerned. She wheeled in an ultrasound machine right away and did a vaginal u/s. She found both of the beating hearts. That made me feel so much better. Everything else in the appointment went great. She said that because I am having twins, it is a high risk pregnany but she doesn't forsee any problems, whatsoever. She does want me to register for the one hospital that Kaiser has that has a 3 level NICU in case I go into preterm labor. All of these things are flying through my head now and I am so worried and excited at the same time. Now that we saw both of the heartbeats, the chances of miscarriage is very slim but you never know if and when these babies are going to decide to come out. My personal goal is to carry them for 37 weeks. However, I have to do that...

My next appointment is at the end of the month. I will be 12 weeks and supposely we will hear the heartbeats! So exciting!

That's all for now.

7 weeks 0 days

It was Bring Your Kid To Work Day today. This was the first time that I have ever been able to participate in this activity since before working as a case manager, I was a General Manager of a Wendy's. I don't think my daughter, Devanne was too excited about coming to work with me at first but HEY! at least it got her out of school for one day. My work is totally awesome and have lots of different activities planned for her to do all day. There were about 10 kids here that were around her age and she has had a great time so far. I love Devanne, my littlest baby (for now) so much! She means the world to me and I can't believe how fast she is growing up.

I made it to 7 weeks! The time seems to be going faster and faster. I am excited for my prenatal appointment coming up on Monday. This weekend shouldn't be too bad either. Saturday, Devanne has a softball game at 4 and then she is going to spend the night at my mom's house for the night. I think Josh is going to take me out to play bingo. Bingo is SO fun! I haven't been forever either! Just not enough money in the world... Sunday, I think we are going to go to church. This will be different for us as Josh is Buddhist and I just don't go to church. When we were having a bunch of problems with bleeding and cramps, I thought that I was going to lose the babies. I told myself in my head that if God let these babies survive that I would believe in him and I would go to church. Little did I know, Josh had told himself the same thing. We decided to start going to a Christian church that is down the street from our house and I am quite excited about it. I really want my children to grow up with some faith. Devanne was baptized Catholic but she has only been to church a handful of times and doesn't much enjoy it. I am hoping that we can get her into it.

I will be sure to post on Monday after the doctor's appointment if I don't before that.

6 weeks, 6 days

Hello everybody! I am feeling pretty ok today. It scares me a little. I still have not gotten true morning sickness (puking). The only symptom I have been feeling lately is tired! Other than that I have just been quite hormonal. I have been really snappy at my husband, thankfully, he is being sweet about it. I hope that this is normal. I have my first prenatal appointment on Monday and hope that they will quell all of my fears. I can't imagine losing my babies now.

I have so many hopes and dreams for the future now. I can't wait until I have a family of five. I can't imagine myself a mother of three. But like I told my husband, no matter what happens with these babies, I will always be a mother of three from here on out. I am so connected to them already.

6 weeks, 5 days

Wow! This week has gone by fast. My daughter had 5 softball game throughout the week and it was actually good weather so that was nice!

I have been thinking about how scared I am to have these two babies. I don't know how to handle two. One would have been fantastic, two is a little crazy. I am worried about having a c-section and if my babies will be healthy. I am worried about premature labor and whether my babies will have to stay in the hospital. Is this normal? Do all people worry like this? I am also very excited for everything to come. I know that I am going to love these 2 babies so much. I know I have enough love for all of my family. I am worried about my daughter also. She is feeling a bit jealous already since the family is so excited about 2 babies. I wonder how she is going to handle all this coming.

This week has been exhausting! I am tired all the time. My stomach is definetely getting bigger. It is so weird that I am already showing. I can't wait for my doctor's appointment next Monday. I will be 7 weeks, 4 days and hopefully they can answer some of my questions and ease some of my worries.

6 weeks and 1 day

IT'S TWINS!

We went for the ultrasound today. I was so scared and nervous. They did a regular stomach ultrasound first as soon as they put the camera on my stomach, I saw them. TWO SACS! I asked the tech about them and she said, "Well, let's just wait until we do the vaginal ultrasound." We did the vaginal and there they were again. Two perfectly healthy babies. They had two sacs and their heartbeats were perfect. I was crying so much and my husband was so happy.

This explains so much! It seems like I have been showing for 2 weeks already, why I am so exhausted and why I am feeling so much nausea! I can't wait for my little ones to come. I just want to hug and squeeze them!

6 weeks 0 days

I feel so tired and nauseous. I never remember feeling this way with my first daughter. Since I found out I was pregnant with this one, I have been exhausted! I go home everyday from work and take an hour or so nap. It makes me feel guilty because my daughter needs as much time with me as possible, but I can't help it. By 10 P.M. I am exhausted again, falling assleep so fast, I start drooling.

I am also very nauseous even though I am not getting sick yet. My stomach feels like it is empty all the time, I feel like I have little butterflies fluttering around in there. When I eat is when I feel really sick. It doesn't matter what kind of food, my stomach feels bloated and full. I am hoping everyday to vomit thinking that that will make it better, but I hear that it doesn't. Ah! The joys of motherhood are wonderous! On Tuesday I was craving a nice greasy hamburger and fries, so I ate them for lunch. Then yesterday I packed my lunch but was not feeling hungry whatsoever. When my coworkers sat next to me, I thought that I was going to die. On one side of me, my co-worker had a double bacon cheeseburger with fries and on the other side my other co-worker had a regular cheeseburger and fries. I thought I was going to lose it right there in the cafeteria. I shoved my face full of grapes so that I couldn't smell the greasy mess!

Another thing is that I am constantly thirsty! I have been drinking so much water lately. I don't really crave any other drink besides water and I am drinking 90-100 ozs a day! I heard that drinking too much water isn't good for you but I don't think I am drinking too much. I could drink more.

I am so excited for the ultrasound tomorrow! My husband is so excited! He said he was so happy that the appointment was in the morning so that he doesn't have to wait the whole day for it. I'm a little worried about drinking 32 ozs of water and not being able to go to the bathroom after but I'm sure that I will be fine or I will pee all over the doctor's table. Of course I am worried that the baby is not in there or the baby is not in my uterus. But I am getting a bit better about that. I figured that if it was an ectopic pregnancy I would be feeling a lot more pain. What if it is triplets or more? I am so anxious to know. Only 22 more hours until the appointment. I will keep everybody updated!

5 weeks 6 days

I still can't believe that I am actually pregnant. I have been wanting a child for a couple of years now and everytime I think it might happen something gets in the way. I guess I could start from the beginning.

I had my wonderful, beautiful daughter at the ripe 'ol age of 15. I loved her from the time I saw her. There was no way that my little bundle of joy was ever going to be anything more than a wonderful experience for me. I know that I was young but I always tried my hardest and worked my booty off. I continued school and worked to support her. Thank God, I had my family. My mom has always been there for me. Even though she was disappointed, she never once said that I couldn't do it. She has loved my daughter just as much as I have from the beginning. I can't thank her enough for everything that she has done for me. When I was 18, I moved out of my family's home and into my own. I continued working and supporting my daughter the best I could. At the time I was in a long-term relationship (not my daughter's father), I thought I was happy but I guess I never really was. We were together for 5 years before he moved out and I moved on. At this point, my daughter was 6 years old. We moved into our own place and started making a life of our own. I had wanted a baby for a couple of years but knew that it wasn't a possibility in the relationship that I was in.

Fast forward! I met my husband for the first time on August 31st 2007. I fell in love instantly. He was everything I ever dreamed of and intelligent to boot. To top it off, he loved my daughter to the high heavens and wanted to have more kids in the future. It didn't take long that we were engaged and living together. On June 15th 2008, we were married. Our life was and continues to be so great. We are two peas in a pod and love each other endlessly. He loves my daughter as his own and she loves him more than she loves me (that's my thought anyways!)

We knew that we wanted more children but that I did not have regular periods so we went in to see an OB for a couple of preliminary tests. The first thing she did was perform a pap smear and a few weeks later, the results came back that I had the beginnings of cervical cancer. I was devastated. We had to do a LEEP procedure. They took out a part of my cervix and performed more tests to moniter my improvement. At the same time (right around August '08) we started seeing a fertility specialist. We figured out that I do not ovulate well, because my periods are so irregular and come when they please. The doctor wanted to wait to get back my test results from the pap smears before going forward with fertility treatment. In January '09 we got the results that stated I did not have any cervical cancer and we could go forward with having babies. They automatically put me on 50 mg of clomid and told me to wait it out. I waited the 14-18 days after my period and the ovulation never came. We anxiously waited for February's period to come so that I could start on 100 mg of clomid. February's period never came and the horrible part was that I wasn't even pregnant. They had to start me on hormones to get my period to start and on March 5th 2009, it came. Instead of taking the 100 mg of clomid, they put me on 150 mg and told me good luck.

On March 19th, exactly 14 days later, I ovulated! We were so excited! We scheduled an insemination for the next day. We were so nervous and scared the following day when we went in for the insemination. My husband just knew that we were going to get pregnant (on the first try!) and I was scared that I wasn't. The next week crawled by. I was getting antsy and decided to buy the early pregnancy detecter strips online. On Saturday, March 28th, only 9 days after the insemination, I got two lite pink lines! We cried and laughed all at the same time. On Sunday, I took another test, it was positive and on Monday, we decided to take a Clearblue digital home pregnancy test, thinking that it was too early for it to come out positive. IT DID! Of course, we called and told everyone that we could think of. I cried and cried and cried! The happiness didn't last long.

About a week after we found out, I started bleeding and cramping. I had no idea what was going on and I tried to look up every bit of information up on the internet that I could. Everything pointed to not so great news. The doctor thought I was possibly having an ectopic pregnancy. It was way too soon to get an ultrasound, so they started making me go in for HcG testing. I went in the first day and went back to work in tears. I couldn't believe that I finally get pregnant and it might be all taken away from me so quickly. The lab called me and told me the results were 261 and I was 3 weeks 6 days pregnant. They said that sounded about normal but I would need to come back in the next week and see if they could get an HCG level over 2000 so they could do an ultrasound. The next day, I had to go home from work early because I was in so much pain. The doctor made me come in and do an examine on me. After looking at my records, she finally realized that I had just had a LEEP procedure 4 months ago. She assured me that the bleeding could be from that and that I might just be having normal pregnancy pains. I went home and went back the next day for more HCG testings. It was at a 591! More than doubled from two days before. They made me wait until the next week to go in again. I was 4 weeks and 5 days along and my HCG levels had doubled to 2881! They rushed me to the ultrasound room. The tech could not see much of anything. She said that I had a fluid like sac (in my uterus!) that measured about 4 wk and 5 days but she could not be sure. They told me that I would have to come back.

My next ultrasound appointment in on Friday. I will be 6 weeks and 1 day along and hopefully they will be able to see the baby. I have been looking up what you are supposed to be at 6 weeks pregnant and everything says that I should be able to see the fetal pole and maybe even the heartbeat. I haven't had much morning sickness. I have had more night sickness though. I feel so tired and my breasts are very sore. All of these are good signs that Friday is going to go well, hopefully. The doctors said that I have a good chance of multiples since I was taking clomid, so we will find that out as well. We wouldn't mind having twins! I wouldn't mind at all. I just want to know that everything is ok and that this pregnancy is going to last.

Everyone think good thoughts!