What is God's plan?

As I was crying for my friend that lost her baby a few days ago, I started pondering God's plan. I know that He has one for all of us. It was His plan that allowed my twins to come close to full-term. It was His plan that Jocelyn start eating and gain some weight. It was also his plan to take my friend's baby up to Heaven with Him. Why? Why do some babies get to live here on Earth with their parents and some get to go to Heaven? Why are my babies perfectly healthy when there are so many babies that are not. I am greatful, so greatful that my three children are healthy and perfect. I just feel so sad for the parents that don't have such great luck.

I think my friend said it best on her facebook post today. She misses her son but she knows that he is in a better place and is so happy that he will never have to endure the hurt and pain that people here on Earth evitably have to deal with. I don't think I would be so strong if I were in the same shoes.

I'm amazed

I'm sitting here at the computer watching my babies. I can't believe just how much they have grown. They are huge in comparison to what they were when they were newborns. It is amazing to watch them grow everyday. It is especially amazing to see the smiles on their faces and listen to them talk to me. I am so blessed.

What I am not blessed with is a body that loses weight. I was 130 lbs when I started having children. With my first daughter, I gained 69 lbs. When I went in to deliver I was 199 lbs. Who does that? Really. Throughout the years I went up and down with my weight. I think the skinniest I ever was maybe 170 or so. At the beginning of 2009, I was 211 lbs. I only know that because we started a diet. I cut out all pop and eating fast food and lost 15 lbs in a month and a half. I was so excited. Then I got pregnant with the twins. My first doctor's appointment showed that again, I was 199 lbs. I was so scared that I was going to gain 70 lbs again. When you are pregnant with twins though, there is nothing really you can do. The funny part is I only gained 24 lbs and it was ALL baby. I was so suprised to see all that weight gone, the first week pp. So again, 2010 begins with 199 lbs. My family and I have decided to do the Big.gest Lo.ser Cou.ple style. My husband and I have done so well. We have counted calories, exercised, I have refrained from my dr. pepper and still what do I have to show for it? 6 lbs. I guess it is better than nothing but really? My goal is to get back to 140-150. Will I ever get there?

My heart breaks...

Please pray for a friend that delivered her stillborn baby yesterday at 42 weeks pregnant. We are all heartbroken for her.

Ok, I really suck!

I thought that I would be better at this blogging thing but I just suck at it. It seems like everyday just blends into the next. The girls are now 9 weeks old! I really just can't believe it. They are getting bigger everyday.

We recently went to their 2 month appointment. Jocelyn was 8 lbs, 11 ozs and 22 inches long. She is in the 25% for her height and 10% for her weight. What a lil piggy! Adelyn was a bit smaller at 7 lbs, 14 ozs and 20 1/2 inches. They are finally growing into their 0-3 month clothes! No more NB size for us!

I was very pleased that they had passed all of the 2 month milestones and were well on their way to the 4 month ones. Both girls are smiling EVERYDAY! It just melts my heart to see their faces light up. Both girls hold their heads up perfectly when being held. Jocelyn has even held her head all the way up on her tummy! Adey seems to talk more and more everyday and has become a real daddy's girl. She could be crying for me but if her dad picks her up and talks to her, she is all smiles. They both sleep very well, at least I believe they do most times. They sleep from about 10-5 at night then from 5:30 to about 9. They take random naps throughout the day but we are trying to work on a schedule. They are still sleeping in their co-sleeper next to us at night. I am trying to get them to sleep in their cribs during the day but most of the time, they don't. We are planning a trip to the beach in 2 weeks, after that weekend, we will be working towards sleeping in their cribs at night.

I am very suprised that having twins seems much easier than I imagined. Maybe that is just because I have wonderful babies. We haven't had any problems with colic or reflux. They hardly cry at all in fact. They are just so interested in the world.

Big sister, Devanne is doing wonderfully. She is such a great helper to me. I look forward to picking her up from school everyday. She always helps me to feed the babies and change their diapers. It is amazing to watch her interact with them. She is always talking to them and making them smile.

I am really going to try to blog more often. Right now, my family and I are playing the Biggest Loser together so I definitely need to blog about the fun of trying to lose weight! :O)

I'll leave you with some pictures

It's been 5 weeks already...

Everyday, I think about blogging but then I don't. Right now, I am sitting at the computer staring down at my beautiful babies. They are trying to sleep. Jocey has her arm entwined in Adey's. It is so adorable. I can't believe that it has already been 5 weeks. Time just flies. The past 5 weeks has been a whirlwind. A lot has happened...

I had the girls home for 3 days before Jocey had to be readmitted to the hospital. She wasn't eating and she had lost over a pound since her birth. It was so scary. What was worse was they would not let me bring Adey there because of the whole H1N1 policy. It was horrible. How do you choose between which baby to spend time with? I was breastfeeding so it didn't leave me much choice but to stay home with Adey while Josh spent all of his time at the hospital. I was so depressed not having both of my babies with me. What made it worse was Josh was going to be returning to work and then neither of us would be with Jocey. Thankfully, the doctor felt that this was ridiculous and she called the higher powers. They gave me permission to bring Adey to the hospital. Jocey had a private room so we bunked out on the couch for a week. One day she just started eating again and quickly gained weight. We were able to bring her home after 6 days. I have never felt like that before. My daughter was perfectly healthy from the time she was born until now (9 years later). I never want to have a sick child again.

After that scare, I have loved everyday I get to spend with all of my children. They are growing so fast. They both are a little over 6 pounds now. They both have had their first real smiles. I just look into their pretty eyes and feel this overwhelming love. Everyday that my older daughter comes home from school, I look at her and want to cry. I think I am a little emotional still! I just love my family so much.

The babies are SO good. I couldn't have asked for better. We are on a 3 hour eating schedule. They both wake up after 3 hours, get their diapers changed, eat and at night fall right back to sleep. During the day, they can stay up for the whole 3 hours playing and staring at each other! Neither baby is overly cranky. I am lucky!

I feel so complete.

Welcome Home Jocelyn Mae and Adelyn Ruth

Just a short update to let everyone know that we had our beautiful twin girls on November 10th, 2009. I was 35 weeks, 5 days pregnant! Jocelyn Mae was 5 lbs, 9 ozs, 18.5 inches long and her sister, Adelyn Ruth was 4 lbs, 11 ozs, 17.6 inches tall. They are little peanuts but are perfect and healthy. We all went home yesterday (after 3 days in the hospital) and are getting all settled in. I will post more later when I get a little time!

35 weeks, 2 days

I can say that this week has been the worst week that I have had in a long time. I got my H1N1 shot on Monday. Tuesday, I started to have a bit of a headache but it was manageable. By Tuesday night, I thought that I was going to die. My throat was killing me, I had the most congested nose ever, my head hurt, my whole body hurt. I was thinking, "well, maybe I am just getting a reaction from the shot." Wednesday was way worse as I started not being able to breathe from all the mucus in my throat. On Thursday, I couldn't even talk and had to go straight to the hospital. They did a strep test, that was negative. They did a chest x-ray, that was normal. They didn't think that I had H1N1 because I didn't have a fever. The babies looked great on the monitors so they sent me home. Of course, that night, I got a fever and the chills but I didn't want to go back to the hospital and it quickly went down after taking tylenol. Friday was still horrible. Today, I am feeling a little bit better. I can actually breathe and when I swallow, it doesn't feel like a million needles going down my throat. I feel for anyone that has to be sick while pregnant. I am so huge now, that it hurts just to turn over. I toss and turn all night. I just want to get up to 37 weeks and then I want these babies to make their appearance! That is only 12 days away! We can make it.